*If you would like to accompany this piece with music, press play on the Soundcloud player.
I am reminded of my knowledge of death,
My friendship with loneliness,
My devotion to the darkness.
I can feel the knives twisting in my back,
And the razor rushing to relieve me of this life I’ve been trudging through.
The devil comes to my right,
An angel rushes to my left,
And they carry me.
Together, they carry me across the river of pain I’ve been sleeping in,
And they tell me I’m too beautiful to be here.
Too divine to destroy myself,
Too chosen to break myself down.
I am the hunger of the universe,
The longing of the ocean to be on the shore,
And I am lonely while I’m living,
Loved while I am killing,
And I am a danger to myself if my hands are not being held.
Come and hold my hands.
Come and harvest my heart.
Make me into a masterpiece before I tear myself apart.
It’s only a matter of time
Before I implode from lack of hope.
Maybe this angel will fill me with light
Maybe the devil will command the night inside of me to rise like phoenix,
Lifting me off of the ground.
Lifting me into a plane of existence that has been mine all along.
Maybe I will rule the pain before it learns to break my bones.
Maybe this pain will rule me, it’s made my heart its home.