You Are Toxic, My Love

Most of us know all too well the discomfort that heartbreak brings. Often times, because of it we end up looking silly and trivial to those around us and in more extreme cases some of us may be so shaken, so hurt that we fall into deep depression and in even more stirring instances, we might do the unthinkable–commit suicide. Yes, most us know what it is like to be left asking a universal question for months, perhaps even years: “how could this happen to me?”  In this poem, Cynthia Gomez explores this all too common existential dilemma. 

 

I am passion ignited,

atoms colliding,

the gravitational tilt

of your world off its axis,

emotions divided,

senses excited,

sex in the flesh,

love unrequited,

the thrill of an addict

filling a void

that’s only expanding,

an assorted bouquet

of collective madness,

waiting for someone

to wrangle my chaos,

and LOVE ME

out of this sadness.

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And you.

You are toxic, my love.

A dangerous delicacy

that tastes like what I desire

yet fills me with regret.

The product of capitalism,

collecting a debt that

never belonged to you.

You overcome adversity

at the expense of your innocence;

you are lifted with wisdom

but weighed down by experience;

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your passions are stifled

by a fear of commitment

and subsequent loss-

that’s just how

you’ve been conditioned,

to trade in your happiness

for a little less sorrow,

to feel less tomorrow

and so you protect;

your kindness forever hardened

by the pangs of betrayal,

you are love hypothetical,

you are a love that’s gone stale.

 

by Cynthia Gomez // Featuring artwork from Erica Wexler

 

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Cynthia Gomez

My level head's in one place but my riddled heart's in a few; I'm writing my wrongs, I'm fixing my love for you.