Most of us know all too well the discomfort that heartbreak brings. Often times, because of it we end up looking silly and trivial to those around us and in more extreme cases some of us may be so shaken, so hurt that we fall into deep depression and in even more stirring instances, we might do the unthinkable–commit suicide. Yes, most us know what it is like to be left asking a universal question for months, perhaps even years: “how could this happen to me?” In this poem, Cynthia Gomez explores this all too common existential dilemma.
I am passion ignited,
atoms colliding,
the gravitational tilt
of your world off its axis,
emotions divided,
senses excited,
sex in the flesh,
love unrequited,
the thrill of an addict
filling a void
that’s only expanding,
an assorted bouquet
of collective madness,
waiting for someone
to wrangle my chaos,
and LOVE ME
out of this sadness.
And you.
You are toxic, my love.
A dangerous delicacy
that tastes like what I desire
yet fills me with regret.
The product of capitalism,
collecting a debt that
never belonged to you.
You overcome adversity
at the expense of your innocence;
you are lifted with wisdom
but weighed down by experience;
your passions are stifled
by a fear of commitment
and subsequent loss-
that’s just how
you’ve been conditioned,
to trade in your happiness
for a little less sorrow,
to feel less tomorrow
and so you protect;
your kindness forever hardened
by the pangs of betrayal,
you are love hypothetical,
you are a love that’s gone stale.
by Cynthia Gomez // Featuring artwork from Erica Wexler